“…when change becomes painful, we often distract ourselves with the blame game rather than adapt to the shifting nature of the experience.” Mark Nepo, The Exquisite Risk
We are all aware of these two words of wisdom…change happens. It is the constant in our lives. Yet most of us are not even close to accepting change…accepting meaning to notice, to be aware of it without judgment. Many of us slip right into resistance…not wanting change to happen, or why me…this is not how I want my life to be, or as Mark says we drop into the blame game…it is about what they did or are doing that is causing this upheaval in my life.
Why me, resistance and the blame game…all distractions that keep us in the victim role…unable to consider a shift, as opposed to the slide we take into suffering. The idea here is to be with the shifting landscape of our lives and not to shrink back from it…to not distract ourselves from where we find that we are. Released from distraction, we may find an opening not previously visible…an opening in our heart calling us forward to shift into a new way of being.
My friend Elizabeth has demonstrated this exact idea. A few short years ago she was unsure of how her life would unfold. Financially strapped, unfulfilling employment and compromised living arrangements…she was sure of one thing…she wanted to return to school to get her Masters degree. She was not distracted by the lack of money…or why at 50+ she was not somehow already financially secure…or that it surely was someone else’s fault that she was in this predicament. She adapted and shifted with the nature of her experience…and on May 9th she will graduate with her Masters degree and enter into a new way of being.
Look around at the landscape of your life. It is shifting…always. You can roil around in distraction or you can notice it, not judge it and make a choice to adapt. When you choose to lean into your life you will find what it is that you need to thrive.
Peace always
Paula
