I saw this quote from Abraham that caused me to pause…
If you need to be understood to feel good…you’re screwed.
I deal with this one every-single-day-of-my-life. Really. I’ve gotten past the needing to be right or getting my own way…most of the time. But I do have a very high expectation of being understood. And it definitely messes with how I feel about myself.
If I’m not understood I blame myself for not communicating well enough. Blame does not feel good. If I’m not understood I think the other person is not listening to me. Judgment does not feel good. In both cases I feel frustrated…not a good feeling. It’s like poking myself in the eye…ouch!
Abraham is saying, feeling good has nothing to do with being understood. It has nothing to do with what other people understand about me, what I’m going through or what I’m trying to say. Sure, it’s important to me that I communicate clearly. At the same time, it’s most important to feel good. Feeling good in myself and about myself comes before anything.
Feeling good first, lays the groundwork for a joy-filled life…one that ebbs and flows rather than one that crashes and burns. I don’t have to be understood to feel good. I can decide to feel good about me every-single-day-of-my-life.
Whew…still practicing.
Paula
Thanks. This clears up a concern I held for a long while. Mmgt. Consultant Peter Drucker advised that if the customer doesn’t buy, it is always the salesman’s fault. So the salesman goes away, I guessed, feeling bad about self. This says to me, yes that may be true, but the salesman can still feel good though the need for the sale may not have been properly understood. A worthwhile shift in perspective.