I’ve done a lot of work managing my expectations. Work meaning…learning how to be satisfied with my own self. That’s what it takes. Because it really isn’t about the other person at all. Read…it is MY expectation…so it’s about me. No matter what anyone else says or does, no matter how things turn out, I am learning to be satisfied with myself.
Being satisfied with my own self starts with doing and saying things intentionally. Not because I expect a certain outcome or something from someone…but because it’s what I want. It feels good and right and true for me. If another person disagrees, doesn’t reciprocate, or doesn’t follow through, well, that’s on them. If they attack me, talk behind my back, judge me harshly, well, that’s on them, too. And if it doesn’t work out the way I had hoped, oh well.
Managing my expectations is about extricating myself from the story I’ve made up of how it’s supposed to be…and feeling okay no matter what. Satisfied.
Truth be told, it still hurts sometimes. I feel frustrated or defeated or angry. But if I pause long enough, take a deep breath and look back…I realize it was just an expectation…a story that didn’t work out the way I wrote it in my head. No need to judge myself or the other person. It’s just what happened.
Still learning
Paula
