Good Enough

“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.’ Anna Quindlen

Today I am feeling not good enough. It has been a month since I posted a blog. What’s wrong with me? I am passionate about my blog. Blogging is important to me. I should have made time. It should be a priority.  Sheesh!!! I am never surprised at how little it takes for me to go to the not good enough place. I am always my harshest critic. You see, I want to be the one who appears all put together, always up to the task, getting it done and making it happen.  I don’t have much self-compassion…when I have failed…at, well, anything!

This self compassion idea is one worth considering. Brene Brown in her book The Gifts of Imperfection talks about the idea of self compassion and its relationship with perfectionism. Our desire to be perfect is really the root of feeling not good enough. We make up a story in our mind about how we should be and how our life should look and then we judge ourselves for not living up to this amazing (and often unachievable) story. We worry about what other people will think and if they will like us. We plant ourselves firmly in the field of not good enough, cross our arms and set our jaw firm…I am not good enough!

Enough is enough folks! Let’s develop some self compassion. There are three practices we can use to develop self compassion. They are self kindness, common humanity, mindfulness as defined by Dr. Kristin Neff at the University of Austin and described in Brown’s book.

We practice self kindness by being more gentle and understanding about where we find ourself. Give yourself a break! We practice common humanity by recognizing that we all are less than one step away from feeling inadequate in some way…all of us…no exception. You are not alone! We practice mindfulness by considering a balanced approach to our situation or circumstance. We don’t ignore or pretend…but we choose to see ourselves in a bigger picture. Get a wider view!

…and be gentle with yourself.

Much love

Paula