Doubt is a heavy thing. I am realizing this more and more. It colors my world in shades of grey. And while I am okay with grey as a color, I am dissatisfied with a life of grey. So I have some work to do.
Why do I think I don’t deserve? Why do I think I am not good enough, I don’t belong, I am something less than? Why am I fearful of being called out as stupid or irrational or ignorant? Why do I think I could never be the one to succeed and make a difference? Doubt, my friends. It’s because of doubt!
Doubt is what makes us give up before we can even get started. It is insidious in that way. Stealthy. Sneaky. Up to no good. Doubt is what casts a grey shadow and makes us turn away.
Doubt comes from the belief that we are small and insignificant…that our life is no big deal. Doubt, I think, is simply a lack of self love. Most of us don’t even think about loving our self. Sure we might treat ourselves to a massage or a mani/pedi or a night out with the boys. That’s not love. Too often it’s just a distraction disguised as love.
Self love is way different than treating yourself. Self love is about appreciating yourself…truly feeling gratitude for your entire being…physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. It is not loving what you have or what you have done. It is about loving what you are. Right now.
The way to release doubt is to learn to appreciate yourself. It takes a conscious effort. So here is my start. I am learning to appreciate my body just as it is, my mind for being able to think and reason, my heart for being able to feel and connect, and my awareness for bringing me along the path to knowing the Divine more deeply.
It’s a start.
Love always
Paula
