“One of the more difficult paradoxes to accept is that (the) abundance of gifts is always quietly present and that it is we who drift in and out of seeing it.” Mark Nepo, from The Exquisite Risk
I am aware of many current life moments for others and for myself that fit this paradox…that cause the question to surface…Is there really a gift in this?
There is the sudden loss of a mother…one day healthy and a few short days later into the great beyond. There is a son and husband who found so much difficulty in the world that he chose the only pathway he knew to relieve his own suffering…and left this world for the next. I am aware of the moments of struggle in trying to find meaningful work, of surviving on reduced pay, of needing to ask for help when it feels like giving in to failure. There is physical pain revealing itself in old bodies and in those recovering from surgery. There is emotional pain welling up in tender hearts not ready to let go. There are souls worn and tired from so much effort, for not much evidence of anything new at all as a result.
In all of this, there is the mystery of the moment. If we can soften our heart to wherever we find ourself…if we can show up fully in our pain and limited understanding…if we can, with some small shred of trust, lean into our life instead of shrinking back from it…we just might get a glimpse of the gift available only in these moments. This requires that we trust that there is enough, that we are enough, and that in this single moment we have what we need.
Trust points us away from trying to figure it out…from making sure we can work it out on paper and get the numbers to add up. Trust leads us away from needing to answer the ‘Why’…it leads us away from putting the explanation into a neat package that we can understand with complete certainty. Trust requires that we drop into our heart to feel the fullness of the pain and the possibility in the moment. It is from here that we are able to drift back into seeing the gifts, the possibilities and the mystery of life.
Take a moment today to drop into your heart…and know there is a gift in the quiet presence of your soul.
Peace always
Paula
