I am less sure about things than I’ve ever been. Less sure, meaning that I don’t rely on what I already know as the absolute truth. Less sure, meaning everything I know today is subject to revision. It also means I don’t accept as true, every new thing I read or see.
I am more like…maybe or maybe not? I wonder? Not sure. Hmmm.
I feel more freedom. A lightness, not so much to carry around. Less anxiety, not so much to feel responsible for. I realize I am more comfortable in the space of not knowing. I don’t mind it like I used to and it doesn’t scare me as much either.
The space-of-not-knowing allows me to scramble around for a while instead of using my energy to hold it all together. Why was that ever important? Holding it all together? The don’t-let-em-see-you-sweat attitude? Why?
I am less sure of everything and I don’t mind one bit if you happen to see me sweat. I am done trying to hold it all together. I’d rather feel a bit lighter and less anxious. I’ll know when I know or I might never know. I’m okay with that.
Feeling lighter
Paula
