Some of us may believe that forgiveness is tied to the other person being sorry enough for what they did to us…or to something or someone ‘making it right’. After the apology or the fix we decide it’s okay to forgive. Maybe you have made the declaration that you would never forgive a certain injustice…it was just too painful…and the other person was definitely wrong. No way they will ever receive my forgiveness. When we act from this idea of what forgiveness is…we give our power away. We let ourselves be held hostage by the person or situation and we carry the heavy load of keeping up our resistance.
Forgiveness is not about being okay with what someone did…it is about deciding that you don’t want to carry the resistance around anymore. Forgiveness is not reconciliation…it might lead there but it doesn’t start there. Forgiveness is about letting go…about releasing the thoughts and resentments and moving forward with your life. Forgiveness is about taking back your power…it’s about changing your mind. It is about demonstrating that you are in control of your life…and you control it by what you decide to hold tight and what you decide to release.
So how is it done? True forgiveness of any perceived wrong can be accomplished by replacing the unforgiving thought with one that is empowering…that’s how you change your mind. If someone insults you, at first you might easily hold thoughts of judgement and anger. How dare they say ‘that’ to me! You might carry those thoughts and feelings with you the rest of the day, week or month….replaying it in your mind over and over again. And at each re-play the same feelings and thoughts well-up inside you. Only when you replace these feeling and thoughts with a more empowering thought will the original thoughts and feelings be released. The new thought might be: I no longer allow others to determine my self-worth. I live my life with integrity.
Forgiveness is all about me for me and you for you. It’s not about anybody else. The result of forgiveness is freedom…freedom from resistance, judgement, guilt…and freedom to experience peace, abundance and joy.
Are you ready to forgive?
Peace
Paula
