Oh my, how we work to control the uncontrollable…meaning just about everything! There is precious little we can control. We only need to notice our own level of frustration and resistance to measure our effort at controlling what cannot be controlled. I could make a long list here…one I am deeply familiar with because, well, it’s my list. But I am guessing you have one that is your very own, so no need.

Every once in a while wisdom seeps in to remind us we have no control…and often we still stew in resistance. After all, we can’t control it but we certainly don’t have to be happy about it, right?

I got a text from a dear friend this week. Her husband had a needle biopsy procedure on a curious spot that had appeared rather quickly. The results showed cancer. There will be follow up appointments with specialists and a plan to follow. But on that day, with that information, he decided to perform the very best self-care he could…and went golfing. My friend was happy and at peace with that.

So there it is. Do I need to comment more? I think not.

With gratitude for the wisdom among us,
Paula

I read this on my desk calendar this week. It’s a quote by Ram Dass. The quieter you become, the more you can hear.

Seems obvious, right? And it feels like wisdom, right? You hear it and immediately: aaahhhh yes, that’s true. The question I have, for myself and for you is…Do we use the wisdom or is it just a passing thought? Do we actually practice being quiet and practice listening so we can actually hear beyond and beneath the surface noise and chatter? Or is this just a nice soundbite?

There is another quote that comes to mind. You can’t learn anything new while you’re talking. I think this is mostly true.

So many of us are addicted to sharing our own opinion and telling our own story. We want to talk and keep talking because we want others to know our experience and understand our pain and know the details of our life. We want to explain our reasoning and defend our personal truth. Too often this is our strategy for feeling important.

Here’s another quote. Not everything requires a response. I agree. I don’t always practice this, but I definitely agree.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be heard. It is important and healthy to be able to speak your mind. At the same time it is equally important to become quiet. It is in the quiet and out of the stillness, where another possibility emerges, a new point of view, a different perspective. It is the place of spiritual growth.

Do you want to hear more? It’s pretty simple then. Be quiet more.

Still practicing
Paula

I think that life is a practice. I mean the whole of life, from the start, is a practice. It’s not something we figure out. Even though it feels like that sometimes. Life rarely goes along with how we figure it to be…it rarely goes according to plan.

Is life what’s real…or is it the plan that’s real? Looking backward maybe it’s easy to see that the plan was really just an idea. After the plan there was…well, practice.

It works like this. We fall down and get up. Drop something, pick it back up. Leave things behind and gather new things. Move forward, pause, take a step back. Stay on course, change our mind. Struggle against, take a seat. Hold on, let go. Give in, give out. Soften, harden. Love and lose.

Here is a definition of practice from dictionary.com: the condition of having mastery of a skill through repetition.

So, do we ever get it right? Achieve mastery? What would that even look like?

I’ve decided the mastery of life is simply the living of it no matter what. It is showing up with humility, curiosity and courage knowing that plans don’t always work out, it’s not always easy and I don’t always get my way. It is stepping out of self judgment for all of the U-turns, switchbacks and times spent off the side of the road in the ditch.

It’s all about the practice. And if you’re still here…you’re still practicing.

Me too.
Paula

I am not a poet. And…every once in a while a poem descends into my consciousness. It started just in the last few months. I never know when it will happen. It just happens. I see something, observe something and then this arrangement of words forms in my mind.

I like that it feels this way. Like some-greater-something is making itself known to me. Is it my soul or God or Love Itself? I am not sure. I like that, too.

It happened on my way to Soul Center on Sunday morning. The whole idea was complete by the time I arrived after a short fifteen minute drive.  I set down all that I was carrying, took out my little notebook and wrote the poem. I guess it’s a poem. It’s what it feels like to me. Here it is.

The sky was light powder blue.
I paused to take in the vast expanse.
Looking straight up, I felt dizzy
Disoriented, lost even.

There was nothing but wide open blue.
I thought I might fall.
Finally, the edge of white, a faint streak.
Thank goodness!

Isn’t that the way it is sometimes?
I just need a little something
To get my bearings
In this big, beautiful world.

It’s amazing to me, how much wisdom there is in things I see everyday.

Grateful
Paula

Sometimes I just come up with a blank. Nothing. Nothing comes to mind. Then it starts. Why am I drawing a blank? Is there nothing worth writing about? Followed by a search through the stack of books by my chair or a flip through my journal pages to see if there is anything I haven’t yet used.

And then…whoooaa grasshopper. Slow down. Maybe blank is good. Maybe blank is opening up space for…well, who knows what? Maybe I could use a little more space. Unfilled space. Open space. Just space.

I realize how precious little of it I have in my life. Most every day is filled to the brim. Even in my supposed solitude there is contemplation or writing or a frustrated effort at understanding. Sometimes, sitting in the chair, it’s all I can do to just quiet my mind for a minute or two or three.

Maybe today my soul is crying out. Give me some space!

Sigh…
Paula

Every week (day?) I get a reminder that I am here to walk my own path. Expecting others to fall in line with my way of being and thinking is fantasy. Expecting others to embrace my point of view is illogical. Expecting others to understand my place in the world is beyond reason. All of these expectations result in frustration, resistance and drama in me. That’s definitely NOT what I want in my life.

Everyone walks their own path according to the beat of their own heart. When I remember this…and act like I remember this…I feel more at ease and less stressed. I understand that my path is uniquely my own. My joy and satisfaction come from being my best me…not my perfect me.

My path does not include expecting others to live according to my desires. It does not include being responsible for their choices or beliefs. It does include awareness, kindness and honoring my own place in the world. When I accept myself as I am, where I am, I can more successfully honor the unique path others choose to walk.

Humble again.
Paula

So, this happened last week. In Texas, on a Little League baseball field, during a regional championship game, the winners to go to the Little League World Series in Williamsport, Pennsylvania. A pitcher hit a batter in the head with a baseball. The hitter, Isaiah, fell to the ground holding his head. He recovered shortly and went on to occupy first base. He was shaken but ready to continue. The pitcher on the mound, Kaiden, was not so ready. He was still shaken, unable to throw another pitch.

So, Isaiah did what anyone would do, right? He went over to Kaiden and tried to calm him. He said “Hey, you’re doing great!” then gave him a big hug. Right there, on the pitchers mound, in front of everybody.

The video of the moment went viral and the players, well, they are stunned by the attention.

Here is what Isaiah said: “It’s really crazy. Like, who would have thought, like, one hug would go this crazy, you know? That just proves, do nice things and you’ll get rewarded, I guess.”

Here is what Kaiden said: “I think the lesson is that you should care for other people. Like if they’re down, you should just care for them, try to build them up.”

Is there anything left to say? I think not.
Paula

Quotes from the story by Dakin Andone, CNN

I got mad this week. About several things. Things that were out of my control. Did I mention I was mad.? Boy, the energy of ‘mad’ is tense. My body was tense, my face was scrunched up and I felt extremely uncomfortable.

I finally fell asleep that night, only to awaken in the wee hours to toss and turn, my mind churning and churning. I was mad…still mad. I  didn’t get any rest that night and I was still mad. Until I wasn’t.

Mercifully, the next morning, I sat a while with Mae, our cat, and decided to start again. Instead of continuing my madness with emails and phone calls to express my outrage and displeasure, I simply didn’t. And throughout the day I shed my madness.

I was making “things beyond my control’ about me….I was taking them personally. They had nothing to do with me. I wanted to control them. Just not possible.

I experienced being mad and I made that about me, too. That’s a truth I could do something about. I was able to see the madness for what it was and start again. Call it mercy or grace. Maybe spiritual growth.

Bottom line…in my heart I am grateful for knowing how to feel madness and how to recover. And that is something.

Today, feeling more at ease.
Paula

It’s really hot and humid in Wilmington, NC in August. Soooo hot! Most of us just stay inside, in the air conditioning, as much as possible. We walk from the house or apartment to the car and get the AC blasting as soon as possible. To work, the grocery store, shopping, appointments…whew…back into the cool before we break a sweat.

And while we are negotiating our day we comment on the weather…to the clerk, co-worker, friends, on Facebook. Maybe even in every conversation. I visited a construction site for one of my projects yesterday and as my entire body started to get damp from the humidity, I was sure to remind the guys installing the windows to drink lots of water and take breaks to stay safe in this awful heat. I’m not so sure they needed a reminder!

Here’s my point. We pay a lot of attention to this weather and the way it makes us feel. We avoid the discomfort as much as possible. We complain and carry on and on about the heat and humidity. It appears in many conversations. Why do we spend so much time stirring this pot? Does it help at all to allow our attention to be consumed by…the weather?

I say no, it doesn’t make a bit of sense. The weather is the weather. It happens every year, in August, in Wilmington. I have decided that this is another call to practice being at ease with what I can’t change. And, to not let discomfort steal my joy. That’s it.

I’m getting better. But, I still have some work to do. Next on the list: mosquitoes.

Much love always
Paula

What do you know for sure? Think about that. What do you know with certainty…no matter what? I answered this question in my journal this morning. I didn’t have to ponder very long.

This is what I know for sure: I can choose how I want to be. I have complete freedom in this. No one else controls my being-ness. I may struggle to be the ideal I desire, it may be hard sometimes, I might need help to make it through. But my being-ness is my choice…all the time.

Just because I know this for sure does not mean I practice with impunity. Sometimes the way I am is opposite of how I really want to be. I pay a price for being mean or impatient or judgmental. It doesn’t feel good. When I’m finally tired of myself, I choose again. It’s the thing I’m sure of…I can always choose how I want to be, again.

What do you know for sure..no matter what?

Learning as I go,
Paula