Have you ever felt overwhelmed? Silly question, right? It happens. It happens when we are carried out of the present moment. Sometimes we get carried into the past with guilt, resentment or unforgiveness. More often we feel overwhelmed about the future with fear, anxiety or worry. It’s not fun feeling overwhelmed.

To quote Bob Dylan: There must be some kind of way outta here. I agree.

I’ve noticed when I just ‘do’ the moment, that overwhelming feeling dissipates. When I ‘do’ whatever the moment is calling for, I gain a bit more balance and ease. Just this…just ‘do’ this right here in front of me. That’s it. The next best step, best choice, highest thought, or kind action. The-very-next-one.

It takes practice to bring myself back to the moment. It does get easier with practice. After a while, ‘bringing myself back to the moment’ becomes the way I live. It becomes part of the fabric of my life. I notice myself straying and I bring myself back.

Less overwhelmed. More present. Best life.
Paula

Life is hard because we resist. We want something else. We don’t like it…not one bit. We don’t like what it means. We’re afraid of what might happen. We can’t fix it. It shouldn’t be this way. No one should have to endure this.

It’s hard not to resist when we feel uncomfortable and hurt. Sometimes life is tragic, physically and emotionally devastating. How could I possibly accept THIS?

When life is hard, I think the thing we want most of all is peace in mind and heart. To have some ease in the tension. A release of the burden. Respite. We all know we can’t change what is. But, damn it, can’t we just have a little bit of lightness? A breath of sweetness? A tender moment of grace?

My answer is yes, I think it’s possible. In the quiet stillness of another sunrise or with people who care for us or when we dare reach for help and are met with open arms…there in the midst is the ease we thought we’d never know. It feels like God Itself has sent a personal message. Love lives.

Love lives.
Paula

When something goes wrong, have you noticed how quickly we want someone to blame? Surely this catastrophe, whatever it happens to be, must be someone’s fault. My hurt, my anger, my grief, my disgust…is searching for a place to land. He, she, they are the ones who did this. They weren’t careful. He broke the rules. She should have known better. We want someone, anyone, to pay the price.

You know what? Sometimes things just happen. Circumstances and people align in certain ways that result in horrible outcomes. Because, you know what? People are people. We are not perfect. Even when we do our best, things go wrong. Even when we don’t deserve it, hard stuff happens. Even when we are minding our own business, we end up being in the wrong place at the wrong time. So, what now?

All of this calls me to be more kind. It calls me to take more deep breaths and to walk more gently in the world. It calls me to acknowledge my own mistakes…and to realize we all make them. Every-single-one-of-us. Rather than be disappointed about this simple fact, maybe we can let it make us humble. Just maybe we can learn to be loving even in the most trying times.

Why not give it a try?
Paula

Every so often, without any effort by me, a poem comes into my mind. It sweeps in and catches me unaware of the wisdom about to be bestowed. If I pay attention, a full picture emerges.

No one came that day.
I sat still – watching rain fall.
It all became clear.

I love when this happens. Every so often I want to make it happen. I want to sit down and write a poem. Then I remember, it doesn’t work that way. My ‘work’ is to allow it to come. Allow it to unfold. To be open to it and awake enough to receive it.

One duck floating on a choppy pond.
What is she thinking about?
Nothing.

Grateful always
Paula

Believe in yourself. Don’t try to convince others of your worth. Don’t wait for their approval. Your only ‘project’ is you. You for you and me for me. Not for anyone else. By ‘project,’ I mean this: being unapologetically and intentionally you. That’s the work.

It really doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks about me. It matters that I am satisfied with myself…with my decisions, my way of being in the world, my expression of my talent, how I take care of myself, what I choose. That’s it, being satisfied with myself. Needing no title or award, no prize or acknowledgement, no credit for a job well done. I can accept these graciously when they come, but they do not determine my value or worth.

Believing in myself doesn’t mean I’m done growing, learning and expanding. It means I’m okay today as I continue my life journey. It means I am aware of my vulnerabilities and the times I fall short, and it means that along the way I am not so harsh and judgmental toward myself. Satisfied includes accepting me in all  my messiness.

When I look inward instead of outward, I encounter a wisdom that guides me. This inward place is where I learn to love myself. Just as I am.

What a relief.
Paula

I am sure you’ve heard the phrase ‘making up for lost time’. We use it when it feels like we lost time because we didn’t like the experience and wanted to be somewhere else, doing something else, maybe with someone else.  I think what we mean is that we want to cram all the stuff into life NOW that we couldn’t do THEN, and that this will somehow make up for lost time.

The feeling of ‘lost time’ happens when we are in pain or sick or caring for someone who needs constant attention. We think…I’ll have my life back when this is over. Then I’ll make up for this lost time.

None of this makes any sense, does it? There is no making up for lost time. By definition, that time is gone. There is no recovering time. When we wait to be somewhere other than where we are…the loss is not time. The loss is the moment. It is the loss of the experience of the moment, and that can’t be recovered either.

This all reminds me to live all-that-life-is no matter what it is. Stop waiting for anything else. Stop waiting until. Live all the moments. There will be no ‘making up’ any of it. Life is much too extraordinary to relegate to a waitlist.

And when those moments are difficult, please remember you don’t have to suffer alone. Live your best life by staying connected, asking for what you need, and making it a practice to always look for the good.

Humble
Paula

I am sure there is blog in my archive about going with the flow. Probably, you’d find the same topic in one of my video messages too. The prevailing wisdom, go with the flow, can be confusing. Is going with the flow being happy with everything that happens? Does it mean saying yes to whatever shows up in life? What if I really want to swim the other way?

Going with the flow is not a mindless floating about. It is conscious and intentional. Because going with the flow includes checking in with how you feel. It’s not just about the flow as it happens to be swirling around you. It’s about alignment with the flow. And alignment is what we feel.  It’s the ‘ah, yes, that’s it’ place.

Recently, I had a constuction adminstration job offer show up in my life…by email. I turned it down. I had decided that my previous project would be the last. I wanted to focus on Soul Center and a few other things that had taken a back burner. Then a few weeks later the offer came back again. I had the thought…well, it showed up again so this must be the Universe calling out to me. It must be the flow inviting me in.

So, I sat in my chair and I asked myself…Paula, how do you feel about taking on this project? Not how much money could I make, not how much time it would require, not how could I fit it in my schedule, not how they really need my help. None of that. Only one question: How do you feel about it? How does it make you feel?

That’s alignment. Once you have alignment, the answer is clear.

No new project for me this time.
Paula

I was looking at canned fruit at Food Lion last week. Not usual for me, but so much fruit is out of season right now. And I wanted some peaches. There are at least three different kinds of canned peaches plus two different brands on the shelf. No, not the sugar free…fake sugar is yuck! No, not the peaches in heavy syrup.  Too sweet. Ah, there it is, peaches in light syrup. That’s the one. Just right!

I was there long enough that a woman came up to me and said, “Excuse me, I hate to ask you…” and then proceeded to ask me for money. She had a few items in her cart…cans of chili, some bananas, maybe a loaf of bread. She started to relay a whole story about who wasn’t showing up with food stamps and who wasn’t answering the phone. As I handed her the money she said, “and you can follow me to the checkout.”

In that moment, I wasn’t remotely interested in watching her check out. We talked about peaches. We both put the same can in our cart and went our separate ways. Halfway down the same aisle this was the conversation I had with myself.

Me: Was I just swindled?
Also me: Doesn’t matter. You gave her the money.
Me again: I wonder if I’ll find her abandoned cart in the next aisle.
…Or the next aisle.
…Or near the checkout line.

I never saw the cart or the woman again.

I don’t regret giving her the money. I don’t even care if she bought those groceries or used it for something else. On my way home, I thought about how much courage it must have taken to ask for money from a stranger. I’m not sure I could do it. Maybe if I was desperate enough. Maybe she was desperate. I also thought about what a privileged life I have. How I can buy whatever I want at the grocery store, take it home in a nice car and put it all away in cabinets already filled with food.

Feeling humble
Paula

It is truly amazing how quickly my focus can change. In an instant what I thought was important doesn’t even make the list. What I had to do and where I had to be suddenly vanish from my consciousness. My whole being is directed exclusively to what is in front of me.

For instance, someone I love is seriously hurt, an emergency, an accident, a tragedy, a life or death decision. All plans evaporate. I am laser focused. Everything drops away. There is no other thought in my mind. I am right there.

How does this happen? How can there be such an immediate shift in me?

I believe it’s simply love taking over. Love knows instantly where to focus and how to be. Love is the response of the heart, not the mind. Love doesn’t try to figure it out. Love responds.

And it’s a powerful thing. So much so that we can’t hold it for long. That focus eventually eases and we have enough room to take care of the thinking details. But that doesn’t mean love is gone. There is room enough for the mind and the heart to work together. We are built with both. We can count on both.

Grateful
Paula

Too often we disregard the value of simple moments. One small thing, one chance, one kind gesture, one yes, one invitation. One bit of encouragement, one kindness, one hug, one authentic moment of caring. One pause in the day to listen, one smile, one text, one call.

One small thing can change a life. It’s usually the small stuff that does. It may seem small. But what makes small things like these magnificent is the energy with which they are offered. It’s the openness of the heart. The smile that says you are worth it. The listening that says what you have to say is important. The encouragement that says I believe in you. It’s not just the ‘thing’, it’s what is beneath it. That’s where the power lies. The power to change a life!

The changed life may not look different from the outside. At least not right away. That’s because the change that happens is subtle at first. It starts with a possibility, something inside that says…well, just maybe. Just maybe I am worthy, just maybe I am strong enough or smart enough, just maybe I do deserve a chance. Can you see how it works?

Please don’t doubt the power of an open heart and one small thing. Just maybe it will change a life.

Much love always
Paula