Sometimes the answer is…take a break. Put aside the to-do list. Forget about the cooking and the cleaning. Clear the calendar. Stop the presses. Breathe.
No one gives you a break…you take one. You decide. Enough is enough. I am going to rest a minute here. You have that power.
I am exercising that power right now. No blog this week.
Deep breath.
Paula
This a quote from Eckhart Tolle: Instead of asking “What do I want from life?” a more powerful question is, “What does life want from me?”
Powerful indeed. Powerful because it invites us into the mystery and into relationship with something greater than ourselves. Powerful because we have to trust and to become intimate with the unseen. Powerful because it strips away ego and lays us open and bare to the Divine.
This power is the power of surrender. And if you think to fully surrender doesn’t take courage…if you think it is not the bravest thing anyone could do…I say, go ahead and try it. Are you truly brave enough to ask…what does this life want from me? And then be quiet enough listen for the answer? And then confident enough to take a step in the direction you receive? Are you brave enough?
Sometimes I am brave enough…and other times I hesitate. But the more I practice, the easier it gets…and the more satisfied and content I become. I recognize this as the spiritual practice of letting it flow rather than the human tendency to add on. “What do I want from life?” feels like adding on. “What does life want from me” feels like letting it flow.
I like…let it flow.
Paula
Why is it so hard to let go? I mean some of the stuff we hold on to is simply not good for us. Some of the physical stuff clutters up our life and makes it hard to move around. Some of the emotional stuff feels heavy, painful and restrictive. It makes us sad or angry. But we hold on nonetheless. ‘I just can’t let it go’, we tell ourselves.
Why not? Why can’t we let go of the things that make us uncomfortable? It’s a good question, right?
I think we have more practice holding on because somehow, it is what’s familiar. We have more practice holding on because we make up a story about what it means if we let it go. And that story is about giving up, giving in, losing something or making someone else’s horrible behavior okay. We’ve practiced holding on for dear life because that’s what it feels like…holding on to the last thing that makes us feel whole.
Holding on is not what makes us feel whole. I am convinced we can feel whole by letting go. Because letting go opens up enough space inside of us so we can know who we truly are. It opens enough space in us so that we actually feel the Divine nature that we are. The nature of us as peace, ease, kindness and love.
To get there we just have to practice letting things go. Don’t start with the biggest thing in your life. Start small and work your way up. Feel the freedom in letting go. Feel the lightness. The more you practice the easier it becomes.
Me, I’m still practicing.
Paula
What do you do with pain? Emotional pain. I try to avoid it as much as possible. I find ways to distract myself from feeling hurt, jealous or angry. Sometimes I am really good at hiding my pain…my disappointment and frustration. I just push it down and pretend it doesn’t really hurt.
But the problem is…it’s still there. The pain is still there. It’s like a splinter in your finger. It looks small but it hurts…bad. Or it’s like a scab you keep picking at. It keeps bleeding, scabbing over and then bleeding again. No chance to heal.
As hard as it seems to be, I need to acknowledge the pain before I put it away. Feel it, have the expereince of it. Let it have its way with me. That’s the only way to begin to heal.
“Just let it go”, they say. “If it’s not serving your highest good, just release it”, they advise. “Put it on a piece of paper and burn it in the fire, go ahead and do that.” Sorry…it’s not always that easy. You have to feel it before you can be free of it. I’ve decided that’s just the way it works.
Release happens after the wisdom is gained, once the experience is complete, when you can hold your broken self in your own loving arms…and say “Yes I’m still here, I made it!” The scar may still be visible from the scab I kept picking at..but the pain is no longer, well, so painful. I am healing.
Humble
Paula
I wrote this in my journal last week: You always receive the consequence of your own thinking.
When my mind carries me on the road of worry, I receive the consequence of that. I feel stressed, uncomfortable and anxious. That’s where worry leads.
When my mind carries me on the road of having to be in control and getting my way, I receive the consequence of that. I often feel tense, judgmental and angry.
When my mind carries me on the road of having to defend my position, I receive the consequence of that. I often feel indignant, righteous and frustrated.
Right? But the thing is, I also experience the consequence of these roads. My mind carrying me within, I feel peace. My mind keeping me in curiosity, I feel balanced and grounded. My mind focused on what is possible, I feel freedom. My mind in awe, I feel joy.
So, this is just a reminder. Check in with yourself. Turns out, not all roads lead to the same place.
Much love
Paula
I am learning over and over how important it is to be in the moment. Not just that it’s important…but that it is essential. Being in the moment actually helps me hold the center. If I can be where I am, just breathe into it…I can find clarity. I can breathe and come in to myself.
When I do this…sometimes I get a message. That happened a few weeks ago.
I was driving down the road and encountered that smoky haze from the fire in Green Swamp Nature Preserve over in Brunswick County. While there are many benefits from the fire for plants and animals…the smoke was definitely choking me. I had the thought…it’s time to move to the mountains!
Almost immediately, this internal voice responded – I know you want to move away, but this is your place right now. Yes, Renee and I talk about moving to the country. But I guess it’s not the right time!
Practicing…bringing myself, over and over again, to the moment…allows me to become aware of the wisdom and guidance that is always available to me. Inside of me. Right there. At the center of me. My work is to bring myself fully into the moment and listen to what comes to me, from me.
So, my discomfort with the smoke became a chance for me to be in the moment and accept the wisdom that was poured into my heart.
Grateful.
Paula
You don’t need to change for anyone. You make a change for you. It’s the only chance you have for lasting change. You decide. You decide because you are dissatisfied with the way things are…because you want to learn and grow…because you want somehow to be better, to feel better, to understand more deeply, to live more freely. You make a change because you want to make a change. You realize the status quo is not acceptable. And, in a power move, you know you have what it takes to make it different.
Isn’t that how it works? You decide it (whatever it is) is no longer acceptable and then you make a move. Maybe your power move is…
These are power moves because they require humility and vulnerability. And that, my friends, takes courage. You have that. You have what it takes. And it’s up to you if you want to change. That’s how it works.
Power movin’
Paula
Maybe you need to hear this today. A simple reminder. Take care of yourself. I mean it. I know you are busy. You have responsibilities, deadlines, decisions to make, dinner to cook. I know the list is long. And…I want you to take care of yourself. What even does that mean?
It all starts with a pause.
Pause long enough to listen to your body. Get up and move or to rest? Dance or sit this one out? Push on through or take a breather? Take a nap or go for a walk?
Pause long enough to know what you really want….or what you don’t want. You have a choice about everything. Will it be yes, no or I’ll have to think about it? Maybe it will be, I’m not sure. Maybe it will require asking for help.
Pause long enough to consider the big picture and the long run. In other words, put it in perspective. Am I over-reacting? Do I really need this…now? Is it worth the effort?
Taking care of yourself means making conscious choices about what is best for you. Pause long enough to notice how your choice makes you feel. You’ll know the best choice for you by the way you feel.
It happens in the pause.
With great love
Paula
We watched Rainn Wilson and the Geography of Bliss on Peacock. He traveled the world trying to understand what makes people happy. One of the places he visited was Iceland. In 2023, it ranked number three on the happiness scale, right behind Finland and Denmark.
What makes people in Iceland happy? Turns out, critical to happiness is our ability and willingness to adapt. To be flexible instead of rigid…to believe that no matter what, everything will work itself out. Not that things will go back to the way they were or the way I want it to be. Not that it won’t be hard in the meantime or that it’s not what I signed up for. Just that things-will-work-out.
As it relates to happiness, ‘things will work out’ means: I’ll be happier if I go with the flow. Because this…whatever is in front of me…is what the flow looks like right now. There is no advantage to fighting it. Certainly no happiness in the struggle against it.
Also, it was apparent that in Iceland, failure does not carry a stigma. Failure happens, meaning things aren’t working out the way I want them to. And then there is simply the next thing. How wonderful is that? We have this awful habit of ranking and comparing and expecting to always be moving forward. We attach whole stories, messages and signs to something that feels like a failure. It’s just not necessary.
Here is a quote from my daily calendar by Ikkyu: If it rains, let it rain. If the wind blows, let it blow. Sometimes that’s really hard…because sometimes life is really hard. But the question is not…is life hard? The question is…do you want to be happy?
Hmmm.
Practicing.
Paula
I got some news last week about a young man whose cancer had returned. The doctor told him he would live six months without treatment and a year with treatment. I thought about how I would feel getting that news. And then I wrote this poem. It’s called LIFE.
People die.
Some are 80 or 90
42 or 13.
Nobody chooses.
Who is to say why?
Or even how?
Does it ever
Seem fair?
It’s just life
Doing what life does
Taking twists
And turns.
Leaving us
To contemplate either
The big mess
Of it all
Or…
The biggest gift
We could ever
Be given.
