Here is the quote of the day from one of my coaching clients…All I have to do is change the way I think about it. Whatever happens, whatever is happening, whoever it is, however it’s been up until now…changing the way you think is what makes life different.

Changing the way you think does not change other people. You might want to read that again. Changing the way you think changes your own life experience. For example…if I believe there is not enough, everywhere I go I will find evidence of not enough. If I believe there is always a way, I won’t get stuck as often. If I believe people are generally good, I’ll see good everywhere.

My thoughts and my beliefs influence my experience. This is not a news flash…it is a reminder. If you feel frustrated, uneasy, self-righteous, confused, stuck…try making a shift into a fresh perspective. What else might be going on here? What else might be possible?

This is not to suggest pushing aside your pain or hurt…it is simply a way to gain freedom and ease in your life. It’s possible by changing the way you think about it. You change by taking off the blinders and seeing with a wider perspective. You change by consciously deciding how you want to feel.

Think about it.
Much love
Paula

Today, just for a short while, I was pondering my life in its full context. I was considering the complexity, struggle, success and my incredible growth as a human being. Pretty amazing, really. Just this quick look back made me feel grateful for being alive. It also reminded me that we all have a story…an incredible life story that is ours and ours alone. And that story carried each of us to this very moment now.

It is incredibly humbling to consider the multitude of life stories being lived right now. To say nothing about all those stories, lived throughout time, up until now. How could we ever know what it must be like to live any story but our very own? I submit, we can’t. We can listen, read, ask questions, seek to understand, be inspired…but we cannot know what it’s like to live any other story but our own.

I hope this simple reflection finds a piece of your heart today. My prayer is this: Embrace your story, however painful or challenging, and know that it brought you to this holy moment of life. Stay humble in relation to all others who are living their own stories that we know so precious little about. Allow this bit of wisdom make us kind to each other more often. Amen.

Much love
Paula

I write a new ‘to do’ list every week. I also like to have a plan…which is kind of like a list…like, what is the plan for the weekend? I make an effort to lay out what I want to do. But, I don’t do this with feelings. I don’t check in with how I’m feeling, spend a little time considering, and maybe even adjust my day according to my feelings.  Do you?

I think we should pay more attention to our feelings and honor them, or sit with them, or decide to make a shift out of them. In other words, give our feelings more consideration in how we move in our day. Why should our feelings take a back seat to our doings?

Here are a few ideas…

• Is anxiety calling me to breathe deeply, get to a yoga class, schedule a massage, make an appointment with a doctor?
• Is sadness calling me to treat myself more kindly, take a break from doing and have a cup of tea, call a friend, have a good cry?
• Is frustration calling me to slow my mind, practice gratitude, learn to bring myself to center?
• Is joy calling me to lift up others, plan a gathering, start a new adventure?
• Is boredom calling me to understand what I really want?
• Is doubt calling me to pause and notice, learn to love myself just as I am?

Check in with your feelings more often. Don’t judge them. The bottom line for me is this…leave some space for feeling, for being in the moment. I don’t really need a list for that.

Much love
Paula

What’s important after all? I mean after all of the research and figuring and counting…after all of the head-scratching, whining and complaining…after all is done and decided. What’s important then? What matters? And by that I mean…what is it that matters in the end? It’s a question I should answer every day.

I don’t like to think about the end…the time when I will no longer be alive in this body. But I think I should consider it all of the time…let it guide my life, my choices and decisions. If I know today what will matter in the end…why not embrace more of that?

You know what matters? Being me. Unapologetically me. As in true to my beliefs and feelings. Being me is living free from judgment of myself and others. It is following my heart. It is not letting anyone or anything take my peace from me. It is honoring the flow of life wherever it takes me. It is being wide awake, kind and always hopeful. It is living in the sweet spot, the place where I feel I was born to be.

I hope you are living in your sweet spot. If you’re not sure what that is, okay. Just sit for a while and imagine what will make you feel complete, at ease and satisfied in the end. You’ll know what it is for you.

Going for the sweet spot,
Paula

My friend Anne Ohlson passed on from this life to her next adventure on Thursday, July 1st. I organized a small team to help her over the last month. Some friends had already been supporting her since March. Debby Creasy was on this intimate and caring team. She was visiting a friend in Virginia when Anne was in her last days. She wrote this to me, and sent the image of the river and this beautiful poem. I hope you find it soothing in your days.

Good morning Paula,
My muse is here by this beautiful river; I’ve been working on this poem since yesterday morning. Still needs some work, but I wanted to share it with you. I know we all are thinking about and praying for Anne constantly. Writing this has helped and makes me feel like I’m doing something as lovingly and meaningfully as I can. Hope you like it.
Love you,
Debby

Ask for help. No, really, please. When you need help, ask. When you could use a hand, ask. Just ask! So many people say to me…I have a hard time asking for help. Why? What is that about? Maybe you think it’s a sign of weakness or you make up a story that asking will be an imposition or maybe you’re afraid someone will say no. I think the world would be a gentler place if we all just asked for help when we needed it. And let me say…we all could use some help now and then. All of us.

Here’s a newsflash for you: You can’t do life all by yourself. Not-possible.

I think our fierce desire to be independent and completely self-reliant has put us in a box. We’d rather struggle and suffer on our own. We’d rather pretend everything is okay when obviously it is not. You can lift some of this burden from yourself by simply saying: I can’t do this alone. Will you please help me?

It feels intimate because it is. Asking for help this way is an invitation beyond the doing, into the heart of the matter. It is a connection, an invitation to see our vulnerability. That’s why asking for help takes some courage. Maybe that’s the real reason we don’t ask for help. We lack the courage to be vulnerable.

Listen, we all know we are better together…that the chain is only as strong as the weakest link…that when the bar is set higher we all rise together toward it. So, ask for help. Be grateful for it. Enjoy the connection. Notice how it lifts you up. This is a life-affirming way to live.

The affirmation? We are One. All is well. Thank you.
Paula

Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Queer (LGBTQ) Pride Month is currently celebrated each year in the month of June to honor the 1969 Stonewall Uprising in Manhattan. The purpose of the commemorative month is to recognize the impact that lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender individuals have had on history locally, nationally, and internationally. Source: Library of Congress

Too often our ‘commemoration’ has less to do with recognizing impact and more to do with blissful ignorance. That’s a problem for me. I am not an advocate for living in the past or litigating it. I am a believer in expanding my understanding by examining the sacrifices of others for the good of the whole.

In this case, I believe it’s important to recognize the impact of those who stood up for an entire community and said “No more! You don’t get to treat us as if we are nothing.” We recognize the impact by feeling grateful. We aspire to go further by gathering in our own self, the courage and bravery demonstrated at the Stonewall Uprising. We carry on with pride in their accomplishment and commitment. And we vow to plant love first in our own heart…and then in the heart of everyone, for everyone.

We don’t honor those who stood up for equality by being prideful in a way that demeans others.  We don’t continue the work by judging others and calling them out as ignorant and less than. We honor the path that brought us here by standing strong in love and in the courage to be who we are. And we invite all others to walk with us…side by side and shoulder to shoulder.

Love is the strongest, most powerful energy in the world. Use it. Depend on it. Let’s show the world how love wins.

With great appreciation for all who came before me.
Paula

A few days ago I was reminded of my imperfection…my human imperfection. I thought I had done something well, by that I mean perfectly. Turns out…not so, grasshopper. I missed something, a pretty big thing. Not a serious, world ending thing mind you…but an important thing nonetheless.

So how long do I beat myself up for that one? How long do I hold myself accountable for perfection? Actually, for this one, about twelve hours. Twelve hours to forgive myself for not being perfect.

You know, it’s the old falling down and getting back up again. Brushing off the dirt and starting again. I will make mistakes and fall short of my own expectations. I am an imperfect human. Carrying “perfect” as an ideal is just too heavy, exhausting and unreasonable. It is the cause of tension and disease in me. It blocks my humility and stifles grace.

I am learning to set aside perfection…in myself and in others. I’m replacing it with: We’re all doing the best we can. Including me.

Still learning
Much love
Paula

I’ve said this before…anything can happen to anyone at anytime. That’s how fragile life in this body really is. In any one moment, a split second, a blink of an eye…the way we are living in this world can be stripped away and turned upside down. Everything we depended on or thought we knew for sure could be gone or changed dramatically.

Take a look at your life right now. Can you sense the utterly fragile nature of it all? Its the old “There but for the grace of God go I”  realization. This doesn’t scare me or make me sad. Actually, quite the opposite! It reminds me that every moment is precious…every – single – moment. It matters how I spend that moment, how I show up in that moment and how I treat people in that moment.

The fragile nature of everything also calls me to give attention everyday to my spiritual life. It reminds me of the importance of meditation, sitting in the stillness, listening for inner guidance. It reminds me that the thing that I can depend on is not what happens out in the world. No, the thing I can depend on is the Divine, God, Love Itself. That is what sustains me no matter what.

What sustains you in this fragile and unbelievably beautiful world?
Much love
Paula

The experience of the pandemic over the last year has really clarified a few things for me. One of them is the importance of community. We often think that one of the hallmarks of success is being able to handle everything on our own. You know…fierce independence. Yet when we are forced into solitude (like this pandemic) many of us feel a yearning for connection and community. We may like our alone time, but we thrive in community. There is something missing without it.

We have an innate desire to be in community because we want to experience connection. We want to FEEL connected and community helps us feel exactly that. Community is strength and warmth and joy. It means caring for each other and for the world beyond. Community is thoughtful and flexible and springs into action as one powerful force.

I believe Spiritual Soul Center is all of this. It is a place to experience community…to feel it and to know it. I hope you take a moment to listen to this beautiful presentation by Victoria Chorale.

Truly…no man is an island. We are One.
Much love
Paula